Using ten techniques to sustain a successful mentoring relationship

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Abstract

Research supports the idea that young people can be helped to successfully complete school through a relationship with a caring adult mentor. Mentors oftentimes provide the extra encouragement and support that may help struggling youth to complete their education. This effective practice shares ten techniques for developing and sustaining a successful mentoring relationship. It is excerpted from the 2002 toolkit, Making a Difference: An Impact Study of Big Brothers/Big Sisters, created for the President's Council on Service and Civic Participation — with a focus on school completion within the priority area of youth achievement.

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Issue

According to a 2006 article published in the Christian Science Monitor, statistics from the EPE Research Center show that among the largest school districts in the United States, Detroit hails as having the worst graduation rate at only 21.7 percent. Although the national dropout rate is more difficult to discern, it is clear that students across the country are in danger of failing to complete their education.

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Action

A successful mentor is one who is a caring and committed adult role model in a young person's life. Based on a study of Big Brothers/Big Sisters, the following strategies help mentors develop trust and build a sustained and effective mentoring relationship:

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    1. Be an advocate and a role model. A mentor's role is not to replace parents or serve as an authority figure.
    2. Be consistent and maintain regular contact. Many young people have been disappointed by adults in their lives. One of the best ways to build trust is to be a patient and regular presence in a young person's life.
    3. Set realistic goals and expectations. Work to build a trusting relationship first. Changes such as improved school performance take time. Achieving short-term goals (e.g., better school attendance) can build confidence and motivation to tackle long-term goals.
    4. Give your mentee voice and choice in deciding on activities. Provide a range of activity choices for youth. Youth feel more invested in the relationship if they can exercise some control.
    5. Be positive. Offer frequent encouragement and expressions of direct confidence. Notice and remark on positive behaviors.
    6. Let your mentee have control over what the two of you talk about — and how you talk about it. Be sensitive to the youth's cues. Don't push for confidences or fire too many questions at your mentee.
    7. Listen. "Just listening" is a critical form of emotional support.
    8. Respect the trust your mentee places in you. Respond in ways that show you see your mentee's side of things. Give advice sparingly. Maintain confidentiality.
    9. Remember that you are responsible for building the relationship. Take responsibility for making and maintaining contact. Understand that youth may not give mentors feedback and reassurance, but this does not mean that they are not benefiting from the relationship.
    10. Have fun together. With parents' support, mentors can expose young people to a wide range of new activities that are both fun and educational. Spending time with a mentor should be enjoyable for young people.

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Context

Good mentors are people who genuinely enjoy children and youth and like to spend time with them. They have the time and energy to commit to a regular meeting schedule, and they know they can follow through on the commitment. Good mentors are flexible, have healthy boundaries, are patient, and self-aware. They display a sense of humor, are skilled communicators, and are enthusiastic about making a difference in the lives of young people.

Opportunities to mentor exist in most local communities. Schools, faith-based organizations, community service, and youth service agencies host a range of structured mentoring programs that provide mentors with training and support.

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Citation

Tierney, Joseph P., Jean Baldwin Grossman, and Nancy Resch. Making a Difference: An Impact Study of Big Brothers/Big Sisters(Re-issue of 1995 Study). Philadelphia: Public/Private Ventures, September 2000.

Chaddock, Gail Russell. US High School Dropout Rate: High, but How High?. The Christian Science Monitor. June 21, 2006.

 

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Outcome

Research shows that offering young people mentoring relationships with caring adults increases the likelihood that they will successfully complete school. Mentors can give young people who are struggling the extra encouragement and support that may help them choose to stay in school, raise their achievement levels, and graduate.

By spending a few hours a week sharing activities, listening, encouraging, challenging, and building skills and self-reliance, volunteer mentors can help children from kindergarten through high school achieve academic success.

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Evidence

Research conducted by Private/Public Ventures (P/PV, 2000) found that youth who are successfully matched with an adult are 52 percent less likely to skip school, earn slightly higher grades, and feel better about how they are doing in school.

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Posted On

February 27, 2003

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For More Information

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Resources

Building Relationships: A Guide for New Mentors, from the National Mentoring Center (Technical Assistance Packet #4).

Klapperich, Cyndi. Mentoring Answer Book. In cooperation with BB/BS of McHenry County.
To order call (815) 385-3855, or email info@bbbsmchenry.org.

Source Documents

Making a Difference: An Impact Study of Big Brothers/Big Sisters (Re-issue of 1995 Study)

Related Practices

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Related sites

Big Brothers/Big Sisters

National Mentoring Center

National Mentoring Partnership

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